The Essential Nature of, and Pure Joy Involved In Owning a Rubber Duck For the Bathtub

Dear Reader,
To be certain, the wonderful and blatant joy of a hot bath is something to be enjoyed to the fullest extent, right to the edge of the great Precipice of Pleasure.  But I have noted, as of late, a curious set of distractions that have come from some swirling cloud of confusion possessed by minor devils, and these have taken us away from the greatest element of all when it comes to the time of bathing. 
Nowadays, we see exotic bubble bath concoctions consisting of imported orchid petals and hints of saffron; we see shampoo that all but strips the beleaguered scalp of any flake-like intruders; we see pumice stones sculpted into floral shapes; even strange potions known as "luxury body washes", when they may in fact be insidious brews of salamandrine mucous! 
But like the ancient desert hermits of yore, we must shun these distractions and surmount all temptation in favor of this one centrality in the tub-life - that is, the Rubber Duck.
Simply place on in the steaming porcelain-surrounded ocean and watch it sail across the still waters like the ship of Aeneas towards the promised land of Italian soil!  See it rise on the surging soapy waves, and yet retain its eternal smile!  Indeed, the Rubber Duck is not only essential, but also representative of the heights of earthly pleasure simply by nature of its aesthetics alone. 
Sadly, many seek relief from the day's toil in the company of a tall glass of wine when resting in the comforting waters of the tub - but this is to entirely miss the undistilled joy of watching a tiny and exceedingly happy little duck float about amidst steamy waters and bubble islands, undaunted by the worst strife able to be conjured by the day's negativities. 

And so it is that I am exceedingly glad in the heart that my wife hath purchased a small but ample Rubber Duck for the bathing tub, even though technically-speaking, it may have simply just come with a certain bath rack purchased for a few shillings in the town.  Nonetheless, I cannot go another minute without telling thee of the sweet and honey-coated news!
In the meantime, I shall be in the town to further question the locals as to what they think of this notion.

Ever your companion and confidante,
The Idler.